So we're on part 2! Nice. Epic. Truly awesome- what am I doing again?
OH RIGHT! I was gonna tell stories about how McDondon has been going for me!
So first off- I'm gonna start with the first day. It was hectic and I didn't expect it to be as much as it initially was. I remember accidentally dropping someone's food out the window and screaming "SHIT" really loud on accident, but so far since then I've toned down my language and avoid cussing while at work. That was honestly the only real funny thing I could remember from that day.
Pretty recently I thought I was getting fired because it looked liked my hours were cut from 40 hours a week to 16 hours a week. It scared the shit out of me because that would have meant I wouldn't have enough money to pay for my trip. To my understanding, the reason they did this was because they thought I was a 16 year old. I am 22 going on 23. Also they didn't want to stress me out with a corporate day that was today, so I'm kinda thankful they let me take most of the week off. I'm losing money, but it's for the greater good of my own sanity. One thing Luna told me not to do before going into all of this was overwork myself, and I've been trying my best not to!
Last Saturday I had one of the best days I never thought I could have working at a McDonalds. I was having such a good time that from 9 AM all the way to 5 PM, I was able to act like myself and be cheery to everyone. I also got a lot of tips that day, and payed for someone's food because it made me happy to give that to them :3 I know I shouldn't be doing that because I need to be able to afford my trip, but I just wanted to make someone as happy as I was that day, and honestly I don't think paying for their food could have even made them that happy.
There was a lot more that happened at this McDonalds that I found incredibly fun, and sometimes incredibly frustrating, but I'm gonna keep the rest under wraps :3
Speaking of spending money when I shouldn't by the way... I bought a Katana. NOW NOW HOLD ON I KNOW I KNOW that is quite literally the stupidest thing I could have done... especially considering it was $110- It was simply a moment of weakness on my part and it won't happen again! ... I also ended up buying a BLÅHAJ from an IKEA, and I had the best time of my life there.
One thing that was weird about that IKEA was not only did it not feel real to be inside there, both my boyfriend and I oddly felt like foreigners there. I assume it's something to do with how so much was in Swedish, and I'd never been to a store like that, but it was amazing. I honestly hope that's what I feel like when I go to Japan. Rather than completely terrified and shitting myself from fear, I wanna be as excited and free as I felt... in that IKEA lmfao
before you question why I felt like that at an IKEA of all places, I don't get out much. Neither does my boyfriend >w<
Where I've Been! - Part 1
9:38 PM | 11/02/2023
Hellooo~ I'm back with another update about life! I waited a little bit on this one just to make sure that I could experience some fun things before I even thought to begin to talk about stuff! I wanted my next post to be a BIG one!!
So to start off... The girl previously that I mentioned, Luna who has inspired me to do so much... We have been in love for about 2 months now!! I'm sure to some that was obvious who saw how we acted around each other, but she genuinely makes me happy! I love her so much, and because of that... February 3rd, 2024 I will be flying to Japan to go and see her! I've been learning Japanese with her and taking a lot of breaks to avoid letting myself burn out, and I also ended up getting a job at a McDonalds just to make sure I could afford the trip itself. I should actually have enough to be able to buy a bunch of cute things there as well... Part of me really is hoping I'll find a Nintendo 64 Disc Drive for relatively cheap. It's been my dream since I was a little kid to own one of those.
I've been working at this job for roughly 2 weeks now, and honestly? I kinda love it. There's a manager there that I really don't like that much, but so far it's been the nicest job I've ever had. I actually feel like I'm part of the team there, and not just some random loser sulking around trying to find something to do. I feel like I matter there, despite it being a McDonalds. I've never heard someone describe a McDonalds like that before, but that's genuinely how I feel about it. There were some off moments, and I am going to tell a few stories in part 2 of this blog post, but it's been really really really nice.
The only thing that truly sucks, is I don't have much time for anything anymore. I don't have time to spend with Luna, I don't have time to play games because I come home and crash immediately from exhaustion. That's the only real downside to working at this McDonalds (or any for that matter, I'm not used to being on my feet all day.)
More in Part 2 above...
I'm Learning Japanese!
10:27 PM | 09/22/2023
こんいちは！ It hasn't been very long, but it's been long enough for some really crazy things to happen! I know it's only been like... 1.. 2.. 5 days? I have a huge update!! As of the past few days I met a girl who inspires me and drives me to do great things, and because of her lately I have been bettering myself, not just for her but for myself as well!
As of a few days ago I've been looking into colleges and universities such as LA Film School and Miller-Motte online colleges, and recently after this girl I'm talking to moved to Japan to learn abroad how to speak Japanese, I have since joined her! I think the only difference is though, I'm obsessed with learning Japanese, meanwhile she's kinda just in it to win it now :3
I may talk about it a lot here, or I may not, but basically I love teaching people the things I learn and even expressing the differences in every day life (at least in my own little world) what it's like to be learning Japanese in full force like this! I must admit, it can be a little weird when you start seeing Japanese characters thanks to dyslexia and hearing a Japanese voice in your head thanks to schizophrenia...
I have one last thing to share with you, and it's my favorite phrase! I don't really know sentence structure yet, and I'm struggling very much with Katakana, but this phrase is one that I can easily say, I personally think it is one of the most useful Japanese phrases you can know, and finally I just like how it sounds :3c
「○○の日本語わなんですか？」 "Maru maru no nihongo wa nan desu ka?" "How do you say X in Japanese?"
Shhh... It's a secret to everybody!
9:17 AM | 09/17/2023
I added a little hidden easter egg to the website. If you're able to find it, that makes you epic 😎 I'll give you one hint as to where it may be, and that would be that it's on the Home Page! Other than that, I hope everyone who visits this website has fun searching :3
P.S. If you find it, tell me in either the chat room or on any of my socials! I'll put you on the list of cool people who made it there!
8:43 PM | 09/07/2023
Well... Something like this was bound to happen, I accidentally broke the website a little bit earlier and accidentally ruined my backup like an idiot. Luckily I managed to get it mostly in working order, except for the gradient on the background. At the moment I couldn't care less if it doesn't work but it'll probably get fixed at some point... as of right now though, the website is... GRADIENTLESS! but yeahhh I just figured I'd make a little update about that because I found it a little bit silly. Also I tried to add cloudflare to this website. Didn't go well, don't recommend it when using neocities to host your website...
Big Website Update
6:50 AM | 09/07/2023
I have made an absolutely massive update to the website! I thought it might be fun to let loose and see what I'm capable of after a bit of practice~ Turns out (at least I think) I'm pretty good at this! I need to fix the background, and I definitely need to make more icons and logos and such, but this is a good start!
Starting off with the new additions, there is a new chat room! I removed the old one after SOMEONE decided to spam the thing with transphobic and homophobic slurs, called me a child groomer, etc. I initially banned the guy, then added some security measures to make sure that doesn't happen again, but I also thought it might be fun to just... Upgrade it! So now, at the top of the screen on the navigation bar, you can see a chat room! It's 100% live and is easy to post to, unlike the last one. So now you can make friends here! I hope you all enjoy it :3
Second, I completely changed the code for the header and footer of the website. Now instead of the top bar following you around and only showing up when you scroll up, it stays at the top of the screen! I had a friend that had problems with it in the past and I couldn't really imagine how to fix it when the answer was right in front of my face the entire time! Now, not only is it much more optimized and less buggy, but it also is more convenient and out of your way! Allow me to just... Pat myself on the back for that one :3
I'm actually thinking of adding more so PLEASE if you have any ideas, use that chat room to tell me! I'm gonna be more active here, and I wanna make some friends :3 It's been one of my dreams to make a website and the fact that I can say that I have successfully done it after all of these years has me wondering what I can do next!
I've Been Away...
11:32 PM | 08/22/2023
Huh! I sure have been away for quite some time now, huh? I haven't really done too much lately and have been kinda trying to find methods to cope with a pretty horrible situation that is currently going on, but I'm managing to keep going, no matter how rough things get! I have some little bits and pieces of news to go over that have happened recently in my life that I think are pretty good!
So starting off... A couple days ago, I applied for a few jobs! One at Subway, one at Riteaid and another at a little store near me called Disc Replay! I honestly think I would kick ass at Disc Replay, but so far I haven't heard back from any of them. It's a little upsetting but I'm not giving up! The entire reason I'm really getting a job right now is so
1. I an buy cool stuff
2. I can afford my next big thing...
Basically what's happening is I'm planning on becoming a VTuber, using the one, the only ROSELIA! Currently I need to get a webcam and I need to buy a bunch of art (I have a specific art style like to use, and I'm gonna be honest with you... it aint mine. Shout outs to mikotocchi_774 for being so freaking cool :3 I'm also gonna need to get a rig and learn how to use AfterEffects! While this is a huge jump, I'm excited to see what I'm capable of on a live stream with a bunch of other people! We're going to be starting in 6 months with a new Minecraft SMP known as "LiveSMP", being run by Coronux!
Oh also I made a kinda cool main menu for when the SMP goes live, check it out below :3
Hard Times, Lotsa Stress.
CW: CHILD ABUSE
9:23 AM | 07/11/2023
So something kinda... exploded a couple days ago. My best friend, practically my sister had gone through some of the worst abuse I personally had ever seen from her parents or any parent I personally have met. I don't want to have to explain it again because I've been doing that a lot this week, and I'm sure some people may understand why I wouldn't want to talk about it anymore. It's rough to speak of your best friend in such a way so much, even if it's to spread awareness. I wish there was more I could have done to help.
This isn't the only thing stressing me out however. Along with this happening, I have had quite a few friends coming to me in need of love and attention because I guess people just... don't give that anymore. It really sucks to see and it just makes me feel bad for everyone lately. I know it's kind of selfish but with all of this I've kind of been emotionally drained. I noticed that when people I know I love have been telling me they love me, and I just feel empty. I hate it. Anywho, I think I'm rambling now, so uhh... Be gay do crime.
EDIT: I completely forgot to mention. I have a go fund me going currently to attempt to help my friend out with their living situation. They currently don't have a phone or a way to transition anymore. If you would like to help them please visit Our GoFundMe. It would help her out greatly. Just $1 would help, or even spreading the word about the fundraiser. Thank you.
Weird Dreams I've Been Having.
3:42 AM | 07/08/2023
Lately I've been having these strange dreams involving my family. Specifically one of my brothers that I used to basically be best friends with, and my biological mother. In the dreams it's generally just us in it, but for some odd reason in the dreams I always end up dying. The dreams don't stop either, they just continue even after death, and all I feel is comfort. Generally after a moment of silence, basking in pure nothingness, I wake up.
The thing that makes me most uncomfortable about this is most of my friends afterwards generally send me a bunch of DMs on either Discord or iMessage, asking if I'm okay or if something serious is wrong. When I say no and ask why, their reason is because "they had a really bad feeling about me." It almost makes me feel like people are having preminitions that I'm like about to die or something lol
The Website is Complete!
3:30 AM | 07/08/2023
I'm happy to announce the website is complete, after 3 days of constant hard work! You can now view all of the art I have created in the past week, and also more to come in the future! You can also leave comments for silly goober fun, and also you can read about how cool I am (because I think I'm kinda cool 😎) If anyone wants or needs a commission for anything don't hesitate to email me or even leave a comment for a place I can talk to you privately! If you need, you scroll all the way down you can see my website's license, and also if my commissions are currently open or not!!
I'm just so excited that I managed to finally make a dream of mine come true since I was little. I've always wanted to have a website. One that functions that anyone can visit whenever they want! Speaking of dreams, I have something else I would like to talk about...